Living My Best Life

I was writing in a journal today and it was one of those sort of guided journals. You know..the ones that try to help you along when you don't know what to write about. Whoever came up with this idea is pure genius. A journal for writer's block. Anyways, my question today was, "What do you live for?" As a mother, you think, well gosh, this is easy. As a Christian, the obvious answer is there. Oh and if you're a wife, your husband has to be listed somewhere at the top, right? Write it all down and another entry sealed up. Done and done. But...ARE all those things what I live for? Or is at least one of them right? I will say this. WHAT and WHO I'm living for has changed so drastically over the last several months. I see things so much differently these days than I ever have before. So, when it came right down to it, I realized it was actually hard to answer this question with just one word or with a simple phrase now. My life has changed so that now, my answer is complicated, yet it gives me so much more peace. I discharged from rehab on January 8th. To say I was excited to start living my life based on the principles I had learned would be an understatement. I was motivated. Determined. I was ready. The very next day, I fell on ice and broke my leg in 4 places. I was devastated that an injury of this magnitude would happen to me right after stepping out of a successful duration of treatment. Was this a test? Did God have some terrible sense of humor? None of it made sense and I began to cry out of disappointment and anger on a daily basis. I felt alone and on top of everything, I felt my recovery would suffer due to not being able to be mobile and get to meetings or outings with those positive reinforcements I so desperately needed. As the anger inside me grew, my relationships at home took a toll. I felt no support everywhere I looked. Let me start by first stating, the God on the mountain is still God in the valley. Do I still think God has a strange way of teaching us or even bringing us out of our troubles? Absolutely! Do we learn the bigger lesson and draw closer to Him because of this? ABSOLUTELY! He has been working so hard lately on me and it took me a bit to get out of my own way to see what He was attempting to do. I was so devastated with this injury and other things with my health, that I failed to see that I was basically waiting on everyone and everything around me to get me through everything and in a sense, get me back on the right path again. The last couple of weeks, I've been finding these "clues" regarding the lesson I needed to have. Clues in books, my daily affirmations, my KIDS, it was so crazy! It was so obvious that every piece of information I found, was a puzzle slowly being pieced together. This life lesson I was learning was something I have been searching for for what seemed like a lifetime. What I have learned is this: I am the only person who can aid in my happiness. I am the only one who can make my recovery successful. It is up to me and me alone to stay positive and live my life with the purpose of loving all of those around me. I deserve love and I am deserving of happiness. It's my time to shine and I'm excited! I hope I've reached someone with today's blog. If you learn one thing, know you're not alone and you are loved!